Photo courtesy of Cracked.com.
Now that I’m single again I’m discovering hookup technology has changed.
Adam4Adam is passe. Manhunt is a relic. Mobile phones are on the rise and aps like Jackd and Grindr are in.
So I signed up for a Jackd account on my Droid. To be honest it made me feel like something of a relic myself.
Most of the guys on there are young 20-somethings. Ripped abs. No body fat. I mean, I look good for a guy in my 40s but not that good.
So I mostly use it to sit back and observe. But still guys hit me up. A few weeks ago one was very insistent.
“Hey, Pa, I’m right around the corner. I want some of that big dick.”
“Well, I’m not really looking.”
“Look, I just want to suck that dick.”
This dude was just 25 years old. What did we have in common? But it was a cold night and a warm mouth around my dick sounded tempting.
“Okay, come over.”
Less than 10 minutes later he was there. Jackd wasn’t lying. He was just 1.8 miles away.
He was a little more feminine than I liked but when he pulled off his clothes it was all good. Tight, lean body the color of an apricots in caramel sauce. And a blond streak dyed right down the middle of his faux hawk.
I lit a candle, turned off the lights and invited him into my bed. And he jumped on the dick.
But his dick sucking technique left a little to be desired. His lips gripped my dick too softly. His mouth too wet. Boring.
It made me remember why I don’t mess with young boys. Many of them are pretty on the outside but aren’t really that adept at sex.
So I flipped him over and started eating his muscled ass, which looked like two ripe cantaloupes. Wiry, kinky hair covered the crack of his ass and all around his asshole — just the way I like it.
And his ass tasted good too. It had a slight nutty flavor.
“Ooh, Daddy, eat that ass. Shit that fills god.”
I slurped, licked, lapped and nibbled. He was getting more turned on. And frankly so was I.
I know he said he only wanted to suck dick but…
I got up, quickly slipped on a condom, lubed up and thrusted deep. Once. Twice. Three times.
And that was it. “Oooh, nigga I’m cumming.”
His nutt was pearly in the candlelight.
He had to dress quickly and go. Something about picking up his kid sister from cheerleading practice.
“Hey, you really did get over here fast,” I said.
“Dude, I work for the Postal Service. I deliver mail in this neighborhood. I just got off my route.”
And then I really took a good look at him. He was wearing the grayish blue U.S. Postal Service pants and the uniform shirt under his parka.
I looked at his feet. He was wearing those thick-soled shoes postmen wear that look like a cross between boots and high topped tennis shoes.
Damn. I just fucked my mailman.
